In America, success is measured by failure. Take for example Robert Nardelli, the former chairman and reputed chief despot at Home Depot.
Nardelli’s reward for failing to boost the stock of the home supply business is more than $200 million, reports The New York Times. That’s on top of the millions the company already paid him.
Excessive CEO pay is nothing new in this country, but Nardelli’s exit package has been stirring the news media worldwide. It got me to thinking about my future.
I’ve decided to market myself as a failure to the highest bidder. For companies that merely want me to slow their growth, I’ll charge them $1 million dollars a year with a $50 million exit package.
For companies that want to lose millions of dollars a year, I will charge them $5 million dollars a year with a $175 million exit package.
For companies that would like me to run them into the ground, I expect $20 million a year with a $1 billion exit package.
Hey, getting paid to fail is hard work.