With thousands of Americans protesting big government, I think it’s time we listen.
We’ll start by dumping discussion of a public health care option. After all, it’s clear that Americans are too freaked out about such a program. But to be consistent with the protesters’, analysts’ and policymakers’ demands, we should also:
Get rid of Medicare and Medicaid. These are big government programs that only benefit a few people. Such a socialist system only serves entrenched Americans who failed to plan for future medical costs. Sure, my mom will be without health insurance, but that’s just tough luck.
Shut down Social Security. Again, who does this help but a few hundred million people who failed to save enough for retirement? It’s not my fault, as an American taxpayer, that pensions and 401ks are under funded. By getting rid of the government-run program, business will jump right in to help current and former employees. I’ll be making a sacrifice here, too: We’ll force mom to sell her condo before she moves in with my unemployed sorry ass.
Get rid of public education. The system is a complete failure because we try to educate children we shouldn’t even bother with. Instead, let capitalists use supply and demand to determine who should get a quality education. I’m sure that business owners will provide high-quality education in poor neighborhoods even if parents can’t afford steep tuition rates.
Forget unemployment benefits. Why should only wage slaves get benefits? Why do so many small business owners, real estate agents, construction workers and freelancers get left out? It’s an unfair system and leads to Americans NOT looking for jobs. Sure, there is only 1 job for every 2,000 applicants, but if we get rid of unemployment benefits, Americans would CREATE the missing jobs.
Shut down the EPA. How dare a few policy makers decide if I can dam a river, kill off an endangered owl or spray DDT into my neighbors back yard? Such an agency is un-American.
Dismantle the FDA. I mean, come one, you know how I feel about this agency. It doesn’t work, so let’s just close it. Let the eater beware. If a few people die, stop buying that brand; eventually, the market place will take care of everything.
Ditto the CPSC. Why should the government give half a care whether toys are safe or an electric shaver has a tendency to electrocute its user?
Fire everyone at the SEC. Who gave the U.S. government the right to regulate stock trading? It’s yet again another example of big government exercising power over markets just because it feels like it. Besides, unfettered capitalism would have prevented Bernie Madoff from turning to the dark side. In true Capitalism, Bernie wouldn’t feel the need to cheat investors to become a billionaire.
On the other hand, all financial industry bailouts should be left in place. Why? Look, how can politicians be expected to stay in power if their friends go broke? No, we need to keep the financial titans healthy and strong because they are a special case that cannot succeed on a level playing field.
You would think that is sooooo obvious.