If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other blog post on the economy. In this blog post, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things are going on right now.
This is because not very many happy things were created by the Goofball Club. President Bush, Alan Greenspan and Angelo Mozilo were supposed to be intelligent leaders of their respective areas in government, the Fed and business. It turns out they were mostly just clueless charlatans, which here means people who pretend to more knowledge or skill than they possess. Instead, the Goofball Club has been leading us to economic misfortune, misery and despair. I’m sorry to tell you this, but that is how America is going.
Our nation’s misfortune began after Greenspan listened to the Bush Administration and dropped the short-term lending rate far below sensible levels. Their tomfoolery, which here means silly behavior, encouraged Angelo Mozilo and other financial leaders, to toss caution to the wind and give trillions of dollars to any borrower who wanted a home.
And so, the great subprime debacle, which here means selling homes to anyone who can’t afford one, and Flip Out Movement, which here means an elaborate pyramid scheme for buying and selling homes, began in earnest. I am sad to inform you that this means many Americans will lose their homes or be stuck in properties with negative worth, which here means homeowners would lose their shirts if they sold their enormous McMansions.
Instead of stopping this disaster from happening in its tracks, business leaders bleated out, “It’s a new economy, it’s a new economy.”
Which leads us to our most unfortunate series of events: Bank of America is buying out Countrywide, the Fed is FINALLY hinting at a recession – which here means that America is about to suck wind – and more gigantic write-downs are expected at big financial institutions.
And while it pains me to tell my readers this, promises of lower interest rates, homeowner bailouts, tax cuts and other silly reforms, are not about to fix our economy. No, we are headed south, which here means into the financial depths of doom, regardless of what road our hapless leaders take. The damage has already been done, so the best we can do now is endure this most unhappy ride that will probably last several years.